Wow Jov', you are...a writer. In the truest sense.

<3

(P.S. I wish I could be more specific/coherent but I'm currently exhausted and feverish, sorry. I'll try again later...*passes out*)

--
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

-Will Durant

Alright,

Though it rhymes loosely, the meter in this poem is indicative of a free verse mentality, especially after we hit the third paragraph (and this shit takes OFF 8D). The weight of the words as they relate to their meanings seems to be emphasized instead of merely the size or sound. So that you have a paragraph like the third, in which there is an almost unbalanced meter, but it doesn't feel jerky because the shorter, more provocative line ("Blood and Sweat.") Holds the same mental significance to the reader as the longest, but less-meaningful-on-it's-own; "Don’t know from where they came."

Don't get me wrong, I love the first two paragraphs, but for a different reason. This poem seems to be split in half to me. The first two sections give a story almost, a set-up, a mood, and are rather formulaic in style (though this almost seems a device to add to the irony of the piece...read on for more on that). The third section is a cliff almost; you suddenly switch meters, switch moods, appear to switch your intent and POV altogether, but still manage to blend with the rest of the piece. It almost looks like beatnik spoken work, the third ('Cept rhyming ). THEN, in sections four and five… you start asking questions, you start making comparisons, and you start writing for a *reason*.

On the whole, this path gives the poem an initial momentum like that of a person walking steady and straight…. when suddenly, they’re hit with a strong current of wind (The wind of conscientious questioning, let’s call it!) THEN they are pushed by the wind to run faster, and in a completely new direction…which takes them to a new, frightening, but ultimately beautiful place.

Besides the wind, YOU take ideas on interesting turns. As I said before, there's almost a sense of irony at the end when you seem to point out the futility in writing, when you yourself are writing something to point it out. It might be intentional (a little tongue in cheek) but wither way, it brings out a smirk. But then, in creating a poem through the piecing of words and employment of sophisticated poetic techniques that have meaning, volume and impression upon a reader; might you be contradicting yourself in that light?

Anyway, you can tell you’re a thinker, and that you love words, but you are not below the clarity of mind to question them and their necessity, their importance. And when you come to the conclusion that they ARE important, you carefully consider which ones are MORE important, even if subconsciously. This is something what all writers must do if they wish to be understood, poignant and evolutionary in their work. …Something at which I fail but you undeniably succeed. In my eyes anyway.

…So ends my overtired ramblings.

*dies*

--
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

-Will Durant

"And when you come to the conclusion that they ARE important, you carefully consider which ones are MORE important, even if subconsciously. This is something what all writers must do if they wish to be understood, poignant and evolutionary in their work. …Something at which I fail but you undeniably succeed. In my eyes anyway."

What do you mean by that bit?

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[link]

This is not a cheap ploy. This is not a cheap ploy. Just keep telling yourself that.

Lol, meaning I kinda go overboard on the wordiness.

Good expansion?

--
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

-Will Durant

lol But a) what do you mean by me choosing which are more or less imporant? and b) what do you mean when you say you can't do that?

--
[link]

This is not a cheap ploy. This is not a cheap ploy. Just keep telling yourself that.

Um, I mean just that? You wiegh the words, the ones with more meaningful significance are emphasized, and anything unnecessary is left out. I have a problem getting rid of unnecessary words. *Shrug* That's what I meant.

--
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

-Will Durant

Okay.

--
[link]

This is not a cheap ploy. This is not a cheap ploy. Just keep telling yourself that.

Lol, you don't sound very appreciative of mah brilliance. *waggles eyebrows*

--
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

-Will Durant

Your brilliance mesmerizes one and all, Hamsters. Really.

--
[link]

This is not a cheap ploy. This is not a cheap ploy. Just keep telling yourself that.